Thursday, November 25, 2010

An Unfortunate Incident in the 5th Wheel

You have heard this all before, but I thought I would put it on paper so that I could read it in my old age, so I could see that I had some fun times over the years.

This took place at our home in Bouse. we were set to head North early in the morning, its springtime, we have secured everything here and ready to go. About 5:00 oclock in the evening a couple of our friends dropped in to say goodbye. We had only two chairs from the motorhome so I said just a minute I'll get two more chairs from the fifthwheel. We store a few things there when we go North.
I unlocked the fifthwheel and went in. The door has a spring on it that pulls it closed behind you. We have covered the windows with padded insulation and lowered the blinds over them, so it is very dark inside. Well, no problem, I have been in there lots of times. I stepped up two steps to the bathroom then up two more steps to the bedroom where I had put two stacks of four chairs.
Being dark I had to feel around then try to separate two chairs (plastic). I was lifting and jerking and they came apart suddenly and caught me a little off balance and I started falling backwards. I forgot the steps and as I backed up and down, I was gaining speed with the top part of my bod in relation to the lower part. I had the chairs against my chest and as I hit the bathroom I was a little to one side and the comode caught me the bend of my knees. I went over backwards trying to throw the chairs away from me. I stopped moving.
I am over the comode and my shoulders in and on a five gallon bucket of water in the sunken bath tub.. We put two of these buckets of water in the tub to keep moisture in the motorhome. I tried to move, my feet are tangled in the chairs and when I try to move them the chairs wedge against the comode and refuse to move. As the bathtub is level with the floor the water bucket is probably a good thing so that I didn't get bent any farther. The water wasn't very cold either.
I worked my lower bod off the comode and fell on the floor between the comode and the sink cabinet.. I am now on my side taking advantage of the other bucket of water. Nothing to get a hold on for leverage. I knew I had to get out of the tub to get up. I got my feet out of thechairs and trying not to feel too much animosity I back kicked them down to the main room. I am between the comode and the cabinet, not enough room to turn over on my stomach so I had to schooch backwards to the wider part of the bathroom. My pants bunched up trying to make this a real challenge but I made it. I rolled over and got up. I hadn't realized I had not opened my eyes all this time, but when I did, there was very little difference. I reached up and turned on the light. Wow, beautiful light.
I think this was the first time I had really looked at this bathroom, the distances between all the componets, the depth of the tub, the height of the comode, all that tricky stuff. i would need more water too. I tried to imagine what I must have look like over that comode and absorbing water. That should have bent something out of shape. I wiggled my toes and the other things up to my shoulders. Not even a tender spot.
Suddenly it dawned on me, we had company and they were waiting for the two chairs. I stepped down the two steps and picked up the two innocent looking chairs, I left the light on and walked out the door to solid ground, took a second to put myself together and nonchalantly walked accros the drive way to the motorhome patio, separated the chairs and sat down. The lady ask "how did you get wet getting two chairs from the fifthwheel"? I thought of some snappy answers to that but always in control I just told her what had happened. She was all sympathy, my caring wife laughed.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Karl and Florence Getting Married

She had kinda agreed to marry me and I thought I should do it right so I brought my mother over to her place and asked her mother if it was OK if we got married, Florence and me of course. She was a little reluctant I could tell, that's the reason I had my mother with me. I knew she couldn't kill me with a witness. She said it’s up to her dad, and he is out in the pasture watering. I dutifully went out to the pasture and asked him the same question and he asks, do you love her and want to give her a good life? Never having looked beyond tomorrow, I said yes sir, he said OK she is yours.

She was a minor and had to have as affidavit of some kind to get married. It had to be signed in front of a notary by the parents. Her mother signed, but she looked like she was seeing the printing on the form reading"I agree to let this old lecher to marry my sweet innocent baby." That hurdle was passed, now the date and the preacher. Every thing is all set, and I relaxed as much as possible thinking about the repercussions of all this. The morning of the wedding day we got a phone call from her or her mother (I don't know which) wanting to postpone everything for some reason I didn't understand known only to females. Martha took the phone call and tried to explain it all to me. I didn't want to understand, and this day was planned. At least part of it and I said no to postponement.

We went to the preacher's place, he was a farmer and had just come in from milking and had to clean up a little. When he was ready, he still smelled a little like cows but that was OK were ready. He got out the big book and took both our hands in his and began, "we are gathered here" the ones who were gathered were Martha, Florence's sister, Flo's mother, and mine. The preacher had palsy or something that gave him a firm uncontrollable shaking of his hands and lower arms. So as he held both our hands in his the shaking continued on into us. I wanted to do something to ease the situation so I decided to try to steady the shaking and make as unnoticeable as possible. He was a fair sized man and farmer strong so he out stronged me. We were all shaking a little, I was braced against a wooden chair and the chair was moving just enough to make little squeaking noises on the floor, I had better hearing then, it seemed overwhelmingly loud,

I stopped trying to stop the shaking and just go along with it. My hair fell down over my eyes, I looked sneakily around and her sister was trying to not bust out laughing and so was Martha. The mothers looked like, “just get this over with" I had heard nothing between"we are gathered here and you can kiss the bride. I read later about all this stuff I must have nodded my head to.

Seems so vivid now, hard to believe it was over 65 years ago